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JT and Rich go on a double date to the drive-in.But JT thinks twice after he finds out who Rich wants to take,Al.After a while it's clear JT can't handle it,so he and Al have a talk.Where she tells JT she no longer needs him to protect her. Cody sets up Dana with Brad Pitt from Legends of the Fall, but it turns out to be the Brad Pit that played dead body #2. Mark and his friends are depressed about their controlling mothers. They try to prove their manhood by smoking stogies, and Mark gets sick. So Frank offers to take him and his friends camping to do some manly things.



Stressed by caring for the new baby, Lilly.Frank and Carol go out for a romantic evening by themselves, leaving the baby home with the girls for the first time. Dana is convinced that childcare will be simple, until Lily accidentally gets locked in her room and the girls have to call the Port Washington Fire Department to break down the door. Fortunately for Karen and Al, the three firemen who respond are young and handsome. Unfortunately for Dana, they are able to pick a lock she could not and she has to admit to Carol in the end that she was wrong. Meanwhile, Frank and Carol's date is ruined by a series of disasters. The workers of the restaurant go on strike. The Movie Theater has a patron who cannot seem to shake his phlegm-filled cough and ends up stealing Franks hot dog. A bear relaxes on the hood of Frank's truck while they are trapped inside surviving on beef jerky, because the pizza boy was afraid of the bear.Frank and Carol soon realize that sometimes simply being together is



Dana, desiring freedom, decides to move in to a frat House. When her friends throw a party, though, Dana goes wild. She gets drunk and starts to dance on the furniture as Al and Karen are there to see it and take pictures. When Carol shows Dana the picture of her swinging topless from the chandelier, even Dana is surprised. She then decides living at home is not that bad. As if Dana moving out of the house was not bad enough, Frank wants Lilly to move out of their room. this causes the first of several arguments. Frank finally wins and Lilly is moved to her room. Frank returns delighted to find Carol...asleep. Cody mistakes a guy who sells toupees during ""America's Most Wanted"" as a Jewel Thief and he's there new next door nieghbor. Cody,Mark, and JT become convinced when he asks if he can have a package delivered to there house, and after hearing several awkward dialogs. This climaxes in a series of mistakes as the package arrives the guys call him over and set a trap.As it turns out



JT and Dana are stuck doing a community project together for a class. They must work at a Suicide Help Line. A boy named Todd calls saying he is about to commit suicide because he is beginning to enter a step-family situation. Dana and JT get so involved slamming each other that he hangs up on them.Thinking that he has commited suicide they begin to freak out.But fortunately he comes by later and they are able to comfort him, and Dana and JT learn what is important and how much they really love each other. Lilly stays up crying all-night and only Cody seems to have the ability to silence her. Carol is convinced Lilly hates her and is extremely worried about it. Finally, Cody is able to show her that the only reason Lilly cries around her is because she is so tense and Lilly can sense that.



Frank decides to hire a new housekeeper for Carol.So he and JT set about interviewing potential employees.After having no luck what so ever,Frank leaves to run an errand and tells JT to do the last interview himself.It turns out to Carrie a former swimsuit model.JT hires her on the spot.As it turns out she knows even less about housekeeping than JT did about modeling.So before long JT is doing her work for her just so it appears she is doing a great job.In the end Frank finally makes JT fire her. Karen is in the running for Head Cheerleader and Carol makes it her personal mission to make sure she doesn't fall short.Being that Carol lost out to another girl when she was in high school she becomes some what obsessed.Carol is there when they announce the winner and it's Karen......Covington.Carol would soon find out that Karen Covington was the daughter of Becky Sue Covington the girl she lost out too so many years ago. Also Cody starts teaching a senior citizens aerobics class and gets t



Karen thinks her dream of becoming a Country Music star may finally come true,A producer says he will deliver her demo to every record producer in the business if she gives him 500 dollars upfront.She does and he rips her off,by skipping town. She soon becomes depressed and being too young to get drunk, she stuffs herself trying to get fat. Dana eventually cheers her up by getting a radio station to play Karen's song on the air. Cody orders a ham radio, but ends up with a Russian mail order bride. She steals his credit card, max's it out, and insists upon marrying Cody to avoid having to go back to Russia. Finally, she finds a naturalized citizen from her home country and marries him,and Cody is no longer under Russian domination. Frank and Carol, sick of doing EVERYTHING for the kids, talk to the kids about doing their own little errands. Brendan ends up not getting a permission slip to a Packers game, requiring a clarification of the rules.



Al has just lost another job and Frank encourages her to be a ""team player."" Karen tells Al of a job at the mall. Al gets the job at a cookie store called Mr. Chips,named for a monkey. She ends up having to take Mr. Chips home, creating some interesting situations. Carol tries to convince Frank to be Tarzan while she plays Jane for the fundraising skit at the community theatre. She gets an underwear model to pretend to be acting the part of Tarzan to make him jealous and hopefully convince him to take the part.It works. JT makes a bet with Big Jim that Mark can beat him. Mark uses Geometry and Physics to win. He ends up beating Big Jim for the $1000 that Cody makes JT give to Mark.



Mark's favorite singer, Christi Rose is coming to town. Cody gets a job as her Roadie and introduces her to Mark who promptly passes out.Christi falls for Cody and offers him a full time job as her Bodyguard. He is tempted, but decides he enjoys his lifestyle too much. Although he offers her the chance to move her van in right next to his, but much like Cody she likes her lifestyle to much too. They remained close, because the entire clan of children sings with her (including Al on the drums)at the end of the episode. Frank finally agrees to buy a car for Al,JT,Dana and Karen after numerous complaints.He not only buys a car but he comes home with his dream car a 1965 mustang. He becomes so obsessed with it; however, the children hardly ever get to drive it as Frank comes up with one excuse after another to keep them from it.In the end Carol has to point this out to him,and Frank realizes his mistake and gives the car to the kids,at last.



Being fearful of ending up on the ""loser wall"" is enough to get Mark Foster to work out. Working out, however, is not enough to keep Mark Foster off the ""loser wall."" Despite being on the wall, Mark is asked to a dance by Tawny Spencer, the prettiest girl in the school. When the girl's bullying, ex-date threatens Mark, Mark stands up to him. Karen and Al (and reluctantly their dates) immediately jump to Mark's defense. The entire school supports Mark and he wins the heart of the heartthrob. Dana organizes a feminist group, which has a very low turnout. Also disheartening Dana is the fact that one of those in the group was Cody. All the members seem to like the group because the Codeman is in it, and when the group finally has a good turnout, it is revealed that the majority only came for a date with Cody. After receiving all this heartache, Dana looks upward and states, ""Maybe You are a man."" Carol talks Frank into reluctantly going to a therapeutic couples' health spa. Both their



JT and Al baby-sit for Lilly and impulsively take Lilly to an audition to represent a baby food company in Milwaukee. When changing a diaper, Al and JT notice that they returned with the incorrect baby. Upon Frank and Carol's return, the whereabouts of Lilly are still uncertain. As it turns out, Jeffrey was the younger brother of a babysitting teenage boy who had similiarly been enticed by the cash reward. At a beauty products convention, Frank annoys Carol by complaining about how boring it is. She finally tells him to wait for her in the bar. But Frank is convinced by a beautiful product representative to have his follicles massaged. When Carol catches Frank ""flirting"" with the saleswoman, they argue and agree not to force each other to attend their respective business functions anymore. Also, Dana and Cody get trapped in Cody's magic box. After Cody tells Dana his life story, sings 1,000 bottles of beer on the wall, and otherwise annoys her; he receives a call on his cellular phone.



Franks old friend Mitch Crawford is coming to town Carol and Frank set up a date for Al with Mitch's son,Matt. Both Matt and Al come in with a bad attitude, but they soon discover they have a lot more in common than they think and start having fun.There having so much fun they end making out in the driveway as the car is being covered in snow. When Frank discovers them, he kicks Matt and his family out of their house. Al goes with them because she thinks her father is being unreasonable. Frank has to go to the all-you-can-eat-turkey for to apologize and invite them back. Cody blows up his van by running Christmas lights from the main generator. Because ""The Night before Christmas"" was in his van, Cody was required to tell Lilly an impromptu version. JT has a job selling Christmas trees. Cody cannot make it because he was injured in the van accident; therefore, his friend, George, spends his free time with JT. George teaches JT that more important than money is the joy of a kid's



Dana admires a abstract, feminist artist and is honored to be chose to pose for her. Knowing she will be a part of what be a great work, she agrees to pose nude. Since Dana is convinced that the work will be abstract, and she will not be recognizable, she proudly invites Frank, Carol, Karen and Al to a charity auction where it will be unveiled. Unfortunately, the painter decided to change styles to Photo-realism, and the painting is obviously Dana. Carol is determined to outbid the ""perverts,"" but Frank does not allow her to top $100,000. Fortunately, the artist destroys her work, because anything that appealing to the masses must be bad. JT goes on a date with Casey Maxwell, the daughter of an alleged crime boss, who requires him to spend $200 per plate for their date. When JT ends the relationship, he fears for his life. Frank refuses to hire an exterminator to kill the rat in the attic. He becomes so obsessed with catching the rat that he hurts himself (throwing out his shoulder, fa



JT and Frank will do ANYTHING for Super Bowl tickets. They dress up like women and wrestle Assualt and Battery for 10 rounds to claim them. Meanwhile,Mark is placed in a school for the gifted. On his first day at the new school, Mark gets a ""C"" on a pop quiz. He neglects his friends and stays up all weekend studying. When Carol catches him, they decide that the new school is a step backward for Mark. Also, Cody ""invents"" clothing made from food when going camping. Without having to pack clothes or carry heavy food, it appears to be a good idea. However, Cody realizes that there are a lot of hungry animals in the woods.



Frank's mom comes to town to see Lilly. She tells Carol how to do everything. While everyone else is enjoying ""Nana,"" Carol grows more and more frustrated with her as her advice becomes more and more personal. Finally because of some advice from Carol (and Cody), Frank stands up to his mother. Then Frank's mother realizes what a terrible mother-in-law she has been. At the same time, JT gets a job as a dummy for a women's self-defense class. Dana, Karen, and Al join the class and after seeing what it is there practicing (shots to the groin) JT quits in the middle. Also, Cody gets a job doing brain experimentation.



Al's boyfriend, Matt, Al, and some other friends plan a ski trip, But Frank refuses to let Al go. So Stephanie ""Love Boat"", takes her place and after talking to JT,Al gets worried. JT and Al go up to check on Matt and the ""Love Boat,"" but Matt proves he only cares for Al. Cody has a gnarly case of the hiccups. He tries to scare himself, be hypnotized by Mark, and drink five gallons of water, but the only true remedy is time. In the meantime, Carol reads a horror book, despite Frank's encouragement to read Garfield. Finally, the nightmares are so bad, she needs ""Garfield"" to help her.



Frank buys Carol a fake Swiss Rolet watch (for Valentine's Day) and pretends it is the real thing. Carol feels so bad about Frank spending too much money that she tries to return it, and gets thrown in jail. When Frank bails her out, she tells him that she loved the watch because it was from him, and that the most important thing is honesty. Frank sweeps Carol off her feet with one of Cody's letters, but Carol is even more impressed that he tells the truth about it. Dana gets dumped just before Valentine's Day and turns into the man-hater she can be. Cody writes her ""Secret Admirer"" love letters to help lighten her up, hence improving her personality. It works perfectly and allows Dana to get a boy that she really likes.



Frank and Carol go to a class with Lilly for parents of young kids. In this class they begin to feel they are too old for Lilly. They try to be ""young"" like some of the other parents. They go to a grunge club with the parents of another kid and they realize that they don't need to change their entire lifestyle for Lilly's sake. Rich and JT tell Dana that ""buds are thicker than babes."" Dana disagrees and challenges them, then she tries to get a friend, Brandy Hartman, to come between them. JT and Rich figure this out and end up trapping Dana into an embarrassing situation. Cody tries to make many strange greeting cards, including one that explodes for National Demolition Worker's Day.



Cody's cheese hat gives him the ability to predict the winning lottery numbers. Karen, Mark, and Brendan try to take advantage of that and get the numbers from him. Cody didn't think it was fair to keep it all to himself so he put the numbers up on the big billboard at the Packers game and it made the ESPN Play of the Day-- making a lot of winners and the prize basically worthless. Dana introduces a psychology major named Fleming to her parents thinking he is ""the one."" Frank and Carol hate him and his ideas and so does Dana when the gift he promised turned out to be psychiatric help. Frank gladly throws him out. While baby sitting Lily JT Meets a girl who assumes he is Lily's dad and he uses this to get a date. It doesn't work out as she thinks he is too mature for her and doesn't believe him when he tells her the truth.



JT has a huge test coming up in one of his classes, and his friend is able to get a copy of the test. JT decides not to cheat on the test, but rather to study for it. JT ends up getting a B on the test, and when he and his friend get their books mixed up, Frank sees the cheat sheet and tells JT he is both disappointed and he will no longer pay for JT's schooling. Later, Frank overhears JT's friend returning for the book and he apologizes and they make up. Al gets an idea to get a tattoo. Even though she is told she can't she finds a way to get to the shop. Dana, however, saw her heading out and was able to tell Carol, who was able to arrive just before Al went in. Carol tried to tell Al several things, but was not able to convince her not to go through with it until she told and SHOWED her the ill effects of one.



Dana, Karen, and Al go to a ski lodge for a weekend and meet 3 good looking guys one of whom is the prince of Calderone. The prince(Karen's) wants people to like him for who he is, and henceforth makes his bodyguard(Dana's) claim to be the prince. This causes Dana to gloat and Karen to sulk. Meanwhile, Rich gives the remaining Lambert/Foster clan a chain letter which promises good luck if you keep the chain going and vice versa. Everyone except Brendan decides not to return the letters. Everyone gets orange hair (except Brendan) from using Carol's free samples while Rich gave his shampoo to his parents.



Dana cannot deteemine what to do and JT and Rich are not able to major in ""Nude Volleyball,"" therefore they all end up taking a career placement test together.The results of the placement test say JT and Rich should become doctors and Dana should become a guard at an women's prison. Dana, livid from the results, demands a re-test and ends up discovering the testing center is a fraud. Dana then investigates (doing a job so good JT tells her she should become an investigative reporter) and discovers the owner has been convicted of the same crime several times before. Meanwhile, Carol repays a favor by hiring Flash to work for Frank; Flash, in turn, destroys almost everything, and is only redeemed by his remarkable work done while staying up all night working.



Frank's mother offers the entire family a trip to Disney World the weekend of Frank and Carol's anniversary. Flash shows up to return Frank's hammer and ends up staying the weekend, and over the weekend he visits more rides than anyone in the history of Disney World has beating out a Russian and bringing the title back to America. JT and Rich dip into their apartment fund to get Rich to come. JT poses as J.T. Disney and ends up spending the whole fund trying to attract 2 girls. They go different ways for a few hours until JT ""redeems"" himself by selling his plain ticket and agreeing to ride the bus back with Rich. Karen enters a country music contest with Dana and Al as backup singers but gets rid of them because they aren't dedicated enough. When she gets on stage the first time, though, she realizes that she needs them.After a little making up Al and Dana agree to re join the group and they rock the house with ""Girls with Guitars"" By ""Wynona""



Frank's mother offers the entire family a trip to Disney World the weekend of Frank and Carol's anniversary. Flash shows up to return Frank's hammer and ends up staying the weekend, and over the weekend he visits more rides than anyone in the history of Disney World has beating out a Russian and bringing the title back to America. JT and Rich dip into their apartment fund to get Rich to come. JT poses as J.T. Disney and ends up spending the whole fund trying to attract 2 girls. They go different ways for a few hours until JT ""redeems"" himself by selling his plain ticket and agreeing to ride the bus back with Rich. Karen enters a country music contest with Dana and Al as backup singers but gets rid of them because they aren't dedicated enough. When she gets on stage the first time, though, she realizes that she needs them.After a little making up Al and Dana agree to re join the group and they rock the house with ""Girls with Guitars"" By ""Wynona""



J.T. and Rich eagerly apply and are hired at a restaurant (which Dana and her feminist friends had planned to protest against) with sexy waitress. They learn how bad harassment really is in those places, but they get in one final night of not caring. Frank converts part of the basement into a lounge using items he bought from a closed tavern. While the men love it, Carol has a serious accident with a one of the lounge's ""toys"". The closer shows interesting riding on the toy by everybody, especially Dana. Flash sleeps on the Lamberts' couch while his apartment is being fumigated. He brings a lot of energy to the house and the lounge.

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Season Five